Santorini to Introduce Curfew for Influencers to Restore Island’s Soul
Reported by Yiayia Chrysoula
Santorini—Once known for its serene beauty and authentic Cycladic charm, Santorini has found itself at the center of a modern crisis: influencer overload. The Greek government has announced a bold new policy—a curfew specifically targeting influencers on the island—to “restore the soul of Santorini” and protect its cultural heritage.
“Enough is enough,” said Minister of Tourism Nikos Papadopoulos. “Santorini is not a backdrop for endless TikTok dances and drone shots. It’s an island with history, tradition, and actual residents who don’t appreciate ring lights blinding them at midnight.”
The Curfew Details
The new rule mandates that anyone carrying a tripod, ring light, or wearing coordinated outfits resembling a fashion shoot must vacate public areas by 9:00 PM. The policy includes exemptions for wedding photographers and actual tourists who “just want a nice picture.”
A newly formed “Influencer Patrol” will enforce the curfew. Locals are being trained to spot violations, with tips like, “If they’re holding a frappe they haven’t sipped for 20 minutes, it’s a red flag.”
Parliament’s Take
During a heated debate, one MP passionately argued:“Do you know how many people walk into the sea here just to get the perfect shot? Santorini deserves peace. It deserves respect. And frankly, so do the donkeys carrying their Louis Vuitton bags!”
Another MP, representing a neighboring Cycladic island, chimed in: “The influencer invasion hasn’t reached us yet, but we stand in solidarity with Santorini. Protecting the island protects us all.”
Local Reactions
The announcement has been met with cheers from Santorini locals. Dimitris, a tavern owner, expressed relief: “Every night, they block the alleyways for hours to get the ‘perfect golden hour shot.’ Meanwhile, my customers are tripping over their equipment to get to their moussaka!”
Maria, a 67-year-old lifelong resident, was more blunt: “When I was young, the only thing people took pictures of here was sunsets. Now? They take pictures of themselves pretending to look at the sunset. It’s madness.”
Some locals, however, are skeptical. “They’ll just post about the curfew to get more engagement,” warned Nikos, a shopkeeper. “These people turn everything into content.”
Influencer Backlash
Naturally, influencers are not taking the curfew lightly. Sophia Loveheart, a social media star with 2.8 million followers, posted a tearful Instagram Story, saying: “This is discrimination against creatives. Santorini is my muse, and now they’re silencing me.”
Another influencer, clad in designer swimwear, added: “Do they understand how much we contribute to the island’s economy? I’ve literally tagged Santorini in every post for the last three years. They should be paying me for exposure.”
Celebrity Reactions
Even celebrities are weighing in. Greek-American icon John Stamos voiced his support for the curfew, telling reporters:“Honestly, I get it. Everyone comes to Santorini thinking they’ll become as famous as me just by taking selfies by a windmill. Spoiler alert: It’s not that easy. Some of us are born stars; others are just blocking alleyways.
Jennifer Aniston also weighed in, adding her signature charm to the debate: “I love Santorini—it’s one of my favorite places on the planet. But honestly, when I see 50 people trying to pose like they’re in a shampoo commercial, I just think, ‘Guys, leave it to the professionals.’”
Maria Menounos chimed in with a laugh: “I totally understand why everyone wants to document Santorini—believe me, I’ve done it too. But when you’re spending more time perfecting your angles than actually soaking in the island, you’re missing the point. Santorini is about the vibes, not the likes. Also, leave the windmills alone—they’ve had enough!”
Even NBA Superstar Giannis Antetokounmpo chimed in on the curfew:“I love Santorini, but I go there to relax, not to see a flash mob of selfie sticks. It’s like a full-court press of influencers out there. Maybe the curfew will help the island get some rest—because with kids now, I’ll take all the quiet time I can get!”
Should Greece Introduce this Curfew?
Yes!
No!
Tourism Officials Stay Optimistic
Despite the backlash, tourism officials remain confident that the curfew will have a positive impact. “We’re not banning influencers,” explained Papadopoulos. “We’re just asking them to respect the island. Santorini doesn’t need more hashtags. It needs peace.”
Officials also hinted at plans to promote nearby islands as influencer-friendly alternatives. One official joked, “We’re considering turning Anafi into an influencer theme park. They can take all the selfies they want, as long as they leave Santorini alone.”
When approached for a statement on the new influencer curfew, the mayor of Santorini declined to comment, reportedly waving off reporters with a tired gesture with a cigarette and frappe in hand. Sources close to the mayor revealed that he’s been inundated with complaints from both locals and influencers since the announcement. “He’s probably avoiding more drama,” said one insider. “Between enforcing the curfew and dodging DMs from angry influencers, he’s got enough on his plate.
Greek Prime Minister Kyriakos Mitsotakis expressed his support for the influencer curfew with a playful jab, saying: “Santorini is a treasure of Greek culture, not a playground for endless selfies. This curfew is about protecting the island’s soul. And hey, at least we didn’t take extreme measures—we could have called the ‘Ep! Apagorevete!’ guy to come and enforce it!”
We reached out to the Ep! Apagorevete! guy to ask him, and well, as you'd expect, he responded with: Ep! Apagorevete!
Yiayia Chrysoula’s Take
And what does Yiayia Chrysoula think of the new policy?“Influencers, schminfluencers. Back in my day, we didn’t take pictures; we lived life. You think Socrates stopped to pose? No. He was busy thinking about life’s big questions. If they want to look pretty, tell them to do it at home. And leave the donkeys out of it!”
The Final Word
As the curfew looms, Santorini stands at a crossroads: Will it reclaim its soul or face a wave of carefully edited posts lamenting the “death of creativity”? One thing is certain: The island has sent a clear message. Santorini is more than just a backdrop—it’s a home, a history, and a place that deserves to be more than a hashtag.
And if that means fewer ring lights and more peace? The locals are ready to take that trade.
Yiayia Chrysoula brings you breaking news from Greece and the Greek Diaspora.
This article is satirical and for entertainment purposes only. AI-generated images are illustrative and not intended to depict real individuals with complete accuracy.