Greece Considers Selling Mykonos to Germany. Greeks Don’t Give a Crap.
Reported by Yiayia Chrysoula
In a move that has left economists scratching their heads and locals shrugging their shoulders, the Greek government is reportedly considering selling Mykonos to Germany. The potential deal, rumored to include a trade for solar panels and bratwurst, has sparked surprisingly little outrage among Greeks.
“Mykonos? Eh, they can have it,” said Giorgos Papadopoulos, a fisherman from Kalymnos. “The island’s been overrun by influencers and overpriced cocktails for years. Let Germany deal with the €30 freddos.”
The Proposal
The deal, still in its early stages, allegedly stems from Germany’s interest in owning a Mediterranean paradise. Mykonos, with its whitewashed buildings, endless parties, and 24/7 Instagram activity, seems like the perfect fit. In exchange, Greece could receive much-needed debt relief or maybe just a few schnitzel recipes.
“They want Mykonos? Fine. But they’re not getting our souvlaki recipes,” joked a government insider.
Why Greeks Don’t Care
Locals from other islands have expressed little sympathy. “Mykonos hasn’t felt Greek in years,” said Maria Koutroubi from Naxos. “It’s all VIP clubs and tourists wearing linen. Let Germany pay €200 for a beach chair. We’re sticking with our €3 frappes.”
Some Athenians, however, are concerned. “What if they try to rename it?” wondered Eleni, a barista from Plaka. “They’ll probably call it ‘Mykonoberg’ or something. Tragic.”
Germany’s Vision
Sources in Berlin have hinted at a rebranding campaign to market Mykonos as the “Ibiza of Bavaria.” German Chancellor Olaf Scholz allegedly remarked, “We will bring order to the chaos of Mykonos. No more 4 a.m. beach parties—just efficient queues for sunbeds.”
German Minister of Tourism, Klaus Müller, reportedly commented on the proposal, saying, “Germany is a beautiful country, but let’s face it, we’re not exactly known for our beaches. Acquiring Mykonos would give us a slice of Mediterranean paradise to call our own. Plus, we’re tired of flying there—owning it would be much more efficient.”
Yiayia Chrysoula's Take
Honestly, I don’t see the problem. Mykonos hasn’t been affordable since they started charging extra for tzatziki. If Germany wants to buy overpriced drinks and burn in the Aegean sun, let them. But if they try to take Santorini next? There’ll be a line of angry yiayias with rolling pins waiting at the port.
Until then, let’s see if the Germans survive a summer of Mykonos prices. Good luck with that, tourists!
Yiayia Chrysoula brings you breaking news from Greece and the Greek Diaspora.
This article is satirical and for entertainment purposes only. AI-generated images are illustrative and not intended to depict real individuals with complete accuracy.
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